On Sunday, when we attended church in the Bronx, I engaged in perhaps
the most meaningful worship of my entire life. The friendliness of the
congregation reminded me of what church is supposed to look like.
During the greeting time (which was longer than any I have ever
seen!), I could not walk more than two steps without being hugged by a
warm, smiling brother or sister in Christ. The worship helped me to
connect to God in a way that I hadn't for a very long time. The
message was also quite significant. It was just what I needed. The
pastor talked about loving your enemies-- an issue I had been
struggling with for quite some time. It seemed so counter intuitive. I
understood the idea of confessing sins, repenting, and mutual
forgiveness. I even had a category for becoming friends with former
enemies, putting the past behind me, and moving forward in love. What
I had always struggled with is loving my enemies while they're still
my enemies. I know that we're called to do this, because "while we
were yet sinners, Christ died for us" (Romans 5:8). Jesus, who had
everything already and needed nothing, was willing to sacrifice
himself for people who didn't appreciate him, who falsely accused him
every time they had the opportunity, and who eventually tortured and
killed him. I have always admired Christ's overwhelming,
unconditional, sacrificial love, but I have never been able to
understand quite what it would look like for me to emulate it. There
are certain people I just can't imagine loving, especially if they
have no intentions of repenting. I want to love them, but I can't
figure out a way to make myself do it. During the message, I realized
that, at the point when I can come to grips with the fact that I can't
do it on my own, I am able to invite God in to help me love my enemies
like He loved us while we were his enemies. At that point, I depend
completely on him and allow him to work in me and through me, making
me more like him. As I said at the beginning of the project, it is my
desire to reflect God's character through my actions, loving people
with his love (even those whom I would normally deem unlovely). The
pastor's message reminded me that actions speak louder than words, and
that my character as expressed through my actions will have a bigger
impact on the people around me than will anything I say. Saying "I
forgive you" is not enough. I need to invite God into my situation,
ask him to help me to love my enemies, and then truly love them the
way that He would.
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