Reflection from FEED 500 - Suleky Roman

I stared into her eyes, as she cried, as she spilled her life story into my hands- every word forcefully left her lips. I saw her story inside of me. Her name is Melissa; we shared a turkey sandwhich, I shared my extra packet of mayo with her. " I have survived gang fights, getting stabbed, shot at, so many near death experinces. My mother is dead and my father killed himself. I am 32 years old. I am 7 years sober- I quit crack, cocaine, heroine, and pills. I asked God to give me a way out, and God has answered my prayers so far...."

No I did not experience any of these things- what I experienced was the weight of hurt, the pain of a wound, the tears of not knowing what tomorrow would bring, and the heavy heart that suffered through something I was never prepared for. I woke up that saturday morning not knowing who I would meet during Feed 500. I was sure of myself that I would not get emotionally connected to anyone- I was simply feeding people who are hungry; thats not difficult- so I thought. I was wrong, as Melissa poured her heart to me- God gave me a window to toss my inner personal experiences out to; so she could witness my heart too. See I went through stuff that I thought I'd never speak of, things I kept from friends. I hugged and prayed for Melissa so many times. She was no longer a stranger but a person God allowed me to witness how He is a souvriegn God. I shared my favorite psalm with her, Psalm 91.

Melissa was a person I would have never spoke to prior to the Feed 500- my judgemental walls were broken and torn down- Melissa was a lesbian and homeless. These were two things I was struggling with, everything in the Word of God made sense to me- however my mind was so narrow that I took it upon myself to weigh sin, I know it wasnt pleasing God but I was "stuck". He is amazing for allowing me to go through this. I love Melissa so much! I keep her in prayer- I havent seen her ever again... I know God is keeping her safe. I was so blessed to meet her. Thank you NYCUP for the ooportunity. I am hopeful I will see her again, because I gave her all the bowery mission cards and extra info on local churches. Please everyone keep Melissa in prayer, everytime I go through a difficult morning, I think of her and how she is still making it through- she encourages me without even knowing it. No addiction is too big for God to break, no pain is too deep for God to heal, and nothing is impossible for God.

I wake up to daydreams.

Healed hearts that kiss souls as Mothers hug their daughters,

I see fatherless boys holding hands praying to their father in Heaven,

Broken chains collected by recycling companies who do it for no profit.

I see broken crack pipes, spilled hennesy bottles, expired dime bags, and unlit cigarettes

swept up by friendly neighbors,

No need for these so called escapes, stress relievers, or social drugs that break up families- destroy souls; fulled by lies that happiness is a high or drunkness away.

Why purchase joy, love, or a new life-

In my dreams I see

Free Happiness thrown around, shared and given away all year round.

Nothing goes on sale.

I wake up to daydreams.

I met them, the daydream catchers

who saw my daydreams from a thought bubble in another world -

where daydreams are reality,

they caught my thoughts in a butterfly net,

I use to wonder where my daydreams went- I wake up to live out my dreams.

I see this daydream unraveling into actuality-

with every hand reaching out to help those in spiritual and physical need.

***dedicated to my NYCUP Feed 500 experience.